Q: How many Ones does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: “Shouldn’t we be using longer-lasting bulbs?”

Q: Twos?
A: “As many as you need!”

Q: Threes?
A: “Just one. But someone has to be watching.”

Q: Fours?
A: “One to screw in the bulb, and one to observe how little light it casts on the dark sea of despair in which we live.”

Q: Fives?
A: “That remains to be seen. No one can answer that question with any reasonable expectation of accuracy without further investigation. And it’s possible that the question itself is flawed.”

Q: Sixes?
A: “Three. One to screw it in, one to unscrew it, and one to screw it back in.”

Q: Sevens?
A: “None! We brought fireworks!”

Q: Eights?
A: “None; Eights aren’t afraid of the dark.”

Q: Nines?
A: “Oh, the old one is fine.”